Friday, August 16, 2013

Trip Number Four


Trying to compact an entire trip into one blog is going to be difficult, but here is my attempt! Overall the trip was wonderful.  I am so excited that Blue Grass Baptist School is now involved with Northwest Haiti Christian Mission.  It was amazing to see what God did both in the student’s lives and in the Haitian’s lives through them.  My prayer is that this relationship between the school and the mission continues.  I know everyone on the trip had their lives changed and were impacted in different ways.  They were all stretched out of their comfort zone, but they did everything they were asked without complaining.  I was so proud and impressed with the team. 

The trip was full of both good and hard moments like every trip.  I am going to write about a couple of them, and then write about what God did in my life the last day we were there. 

I absolutely loved being able to reconnect with all of my friends in Haiti.  That was one the highlights of the trip.  The bracelet bandits made me feel like a rock star the first day because they all started clapping and chanting my name.  I love those boys so much, and I am so proud of the young men they are becoming.  They have all grown so much, and I am so excited to see what God has in store for their futures.  We were able to do a Bible Study with them one day, and I was very impressed with how well they listened and paid attention.  It really meant a lot to me to be able to share and pray with these boys.  I also am so thankful we had the opportunity to spend time with Kenzie.  We were able to visit where he is now living and pray with the family who has taken him in.  Please continue to pray for him as he is still dealing with the loss of his mother.

All of this was wonderful, but my favorite part of the trip was watching Mark fall in love with Haiti.  As he wrote on the team blog (www.bgbsmissions.blogspot.com) , “it’s in the Karenbauer genes.”  Mark experienced a lot of new things from dancing with the elderly to spoon feeding special needs children who could not feed themselves.  He loved everyone with a true servants heart, and I could not be more proud to call him my brother.  One moment that will stay in my heart was one of the first days we were there.  I was downstairs playing with one of the special needs boys, Markenly.  Mark came downstairs and Markenly’s face completely lit up.  He jumped out of my arms and ran to Mark while yelling his name.  It was at that moment when I saw the impact my baby brother was having on the people I love.  What a special moment. 

Being in a third world county is not always fun and games.  There are hard moments that you do not always wish to remember.  One of those moments happened at House of Hope.  We did our VBS and all the team members started playing with different kids.  I started going in some of the backrooms because there are usually babies in them.  I went in one, and the mom motioned me over to show me her baby.  This baby was so malnourished that its swollen skin had started splitting open.  I have seen plenty of children who are malnourished, but never one to this extreme.  I cannot imagine being that mother.  You could see on her face that she was experiencing her baby’s pain.  I know I will probably never see them again in this lifetime, but I will never forget that precious angel.

Another hard moment came when I was reconnected with one of my friends from last summer.  Jennica was a little girl who lived near the mission.  Last summer she was one of the happiest little girls ever.  She always had the biggest smile on her face, and it was one of the prettiest smiles.  When I saw Jennica this week, she did not have a smile on her face.  I asked her what was wrong and she said her teeth hurt.  Then she showed me.  Jennica’s teeth are rotting out.  This girl who’s gorgeous smile brought me so much joy last summer, is now suffering.  I did not know what to say, and I still do not really know what to say about it.  It always breaks my heart when I see suffering, but it is so much harder when it is someone you know. 

The hard times broke my heart, but the good things made being in Haiti worth it.  The whole week I was so glad I had gone.  However, I felt a little discouraged.  I knew I was there mainly to help to team, but I had done everything we had done.  I had been to Tortuga, house of hope, the bay, and everywhere else.  There were so many new experiences for the team, but I was not experiencing anything drastically new.  The night before our last day, I began praying that God would do something radical.  I prayed that He would give me an experience that would give me some reassurance as for my call to Haiti.

Boy does God answer prayers.  The next day we left for Ansefalour, the voodoo capital.  In the blog I wrote before I left, I wrote about my first trip to Ansefalour.  It was the place where God showed me He had more in store for me in Haiti.  Well we got to Ansefalour and started our day out with a VBS.  It was a bit disheartening for the group because one of the boys at our VBS was removed and beaten because he tried to steal a granola bar.  After VBS, the group was playing with the kids at the ocean.  Cameron and I went to see if I could find the baby from last summer.  Last summer, my mom went around this community doing medical hut to huts.  We stopped at this one house and asked if they had any medical needs.  The man said his wife had had a baby five hours prior.  My mom was able to check the baby and mother out.  For the rest of the summer, I visited this family every time I was in Ansefalour.  During one of these visits they asked me to be this precious babies godmother.  I have to admit; I was a bit nervous going back to the house.  The baby had been sick when I last saw him.  I was so scared something had happened to him, or the family had moved, or they had forgotten me.  It had been an entire year since I had last been there.  We got to the house and my precious godson, Richardson, was a healthy (and chunky) thirteen month old!  I asked if they remembered me, and the dad said, “of course, you are my son’s godmother!”  It was so good to check on them and pray for them.  The dad told me he always knew when I was not in Haiti because I do not come visit them.  He also wanted to make sure I knew they were Christians, which is such an encouragement considering they live in the voodoo capital.  The visit was such a blessing and encouragement to me.

Next we went to the voodoo monument that claims the city of Ansefalour for voodoo.  It is quite a hike, but an experience for everyone.  I have done this hike a lot, so I did not expect to get anything different from it.  I figured we would hike up there, take some pictures, I would explain the story of the monument, and then we would pray over it.  However, on the way up I had some children follow me.  This was not unusual, and it was not unusual that the children were asking for food.  I told them I could not give them anything and then they started talking really fast in creole.  It was too much and too fast for me to understand, so I asked my translator.  She told me they were calling on the spirits and putting a voodoo curse on me because I would not give them food.  While this seems a bit silly, it was a real eye opening experience for me.  When we do VBS in Ansefalour, and the children pay attention and know all the songs, it is so easy to believe that they believe what we are talking about.  However, hearing these children calling to the spirits really opened my eyes to the fact that voodoo has such a power over this city, even over the children.  There is so much work to be done in Ansefalour still.

At this point, God had already done radical things in my life, but He was not done.  Next we went to the voodoo temple, the place that houses the doll that the people worship.  I have been to the temple between 10 and 15 times, and the only time I was ever allowed inside was my very first trip.  Our translator knew the person at the door, and he let our group in.  For the first time since God had used this place to turn my world upside down, I went back inside.  I cannot accurately describe the inside of the temple.  It is a place of darkness and pure evil.  There are sick people laying in back corners, people praying, people crying, and people worshipping.  The people’s eyes are dull and almost lifeless.  There is alcohol, candles, and incense all over the place.  The smells are overwhelming, but the atmosphere makes it the worst place I have ever been in.  Even though I know God is always with me, the evil is so prevalent there that it is hard to feel Him.  I feel almost engulfed and choked by this evil.  The doll, Saint Anne, is upstairs in a glass case.  People sit in pews in this room and fervently pray to her.  Their dedication breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart because I know what they are putting their hope into cannot help them. 

I think the temple shook everyone on the team up a little.  I am thankful that they had the opportunity to see it though because it shows them what we truly are up against.  Voodoo does have a power over people, and we are called to break that power by spreading God’s word.  We are called to be His lights in the midst of darkness.  I truly believe that He did more than just something radical in my life: He did something radical in everyone’s lives. 

It was a hard day, but God blessed me afterwards.  I was able to take the group to Jim’s and Niason’s house.  We spent time with the family, and prayed over them.  By the end of the prayer, I was sobbing as was their family.  I love those children more than anything, and I am so thankful God put them in my life.  Spending time at their house was such an amazing experience because it showed me that I meant as much to them as they do me.  They have not had an easy life, and it breaks my heart to see the conditions they live in.  However, I am so encouraged by their smiles and joy.  They are some of the happiest people I have ever met. 

Saying goodbye to the family, to my bracelet boys, and my brother was extremely difficult.  I miss them all so much already.  My heart hurts for Haiti.  I know God has a plan for me in Haiti, but the waiting now is hard.  There is so much to do, so many people to love, I just wish I could be there already. 

This is not the end of me in Haiti, and I pray it is just the beginning of Blue Grass in Haiti.  

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Going Back Home


Three days.  Three days until I leave for Haiti, the country I have grown to love, cherish, and consider my own home.  I couldn’t be more excited! This will be my fourth trip to Haiti, and, like every trip, it will be different from any of my previous trips.  This year I will be co-leading a team along with my father!  The team includes five high school students from Blue Grass Baptist School, one of the student’s dad, my best friend, and of course me and my father.  God has definitely had His hand in this one.  It has been more than a struggle at times.  Plus helping plan a mission trip from the other side of the world was a task.  However, the team was very patient, and God was very good.  Everything is set for us to go!  I am so excited for these high school students to have the same opportunity I had in high school.  This trip changed my life, and I can only pray that it will change theirs. 

Four years ago I would never have imagined myself in this position.  When I was preparing for this first trip to Haiti, I was not excited at all.  I did not want to go, and I had no idea why I had signed up for the trip (good thing God knew what He was doing!) The beginning of my two-week trip was miserable.  I hated it.  The beginning of the second week I decided it was bearable, and I was glad I had gone.  However, I was positive I would never do anything like that again.  During the middle of the second week we went to Ansefalour, the voodoo capital, and my life turned upside down.  I do not have accurate words to describe what I saw in the voodoo temple, other than false hope.  This false hope completely broke me.  After leaving the temple, I knew without a shadow of doubt that God had more for me in Haiti, and I was ready for it.  (After returning from Ansefalour, I met James.. God just adding to my desire to return).  Six months after we returned home, the earthquake hit.  I felt a piece of me break with every video, news report, or story I saw.  I had already been planning on returning the next summer, but this only added to my desire.  Six months after the earthquake, I was able to share my Haiti experience with my church.  I loved every minute of this two-week trip, however, I felt as if it were not long enough.  Last summer I returned for a three-month internship with the mission.  The past posts on this blog are about my experiences during this internship.  I learned so much and became so much more aware of my call to Haiti.

I cannot wait to pursue that call during this trip.  Though it will be difficult because it will not be as long as my last trip, I have many reasons to be extremely excited for this trip.  The first reason is the team!  God has orchestrated an amazing team.  I am so excited to work with them, but I am more excited because this will be the first out of country mission trip for most of them.  I have no doubt that they will go through a major culture shock; I know I did my first trip.  However, I also know God is going to change them in so many ways, and I cannot wait to see how! 

The second, and maybe selfishly the main reason I am excited is because of Mark! My own little brother is one of the team members.  I have dreamed of the day I would get to share Haiti with him, and it is finally here!  Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.  After four years of telling him everything I could about this country, I finally get to watch my brother love on the people I love so dearly.  I am so proud of the man he is becoming, and I know this trip is only going to add to it.  Mark has a huge heart, and I know he is going to use it there in so many ways.

There are many other reasons I am excited.  I cannot wait to see my Haitian brother, Kenzie.  It will be amazing for him to meet Mark.  I cannot wait to reconnect with all the friends I have made.  I cannot wait to love on the people.  I cannot wait to see all of the changes at the mission.  This is going to be an amazing trip.  I know God has big things in store it.  I cannot wait to see how he changes both the group and me. 

During the trip, I do not think I will be updating this blog.  However, if you are interested in what we are doing, the group will be updating a blog at www.bgbsmissions.blogspot.com. I encourage you to check it out!  I cannot say how often we will have internet, but we will try to update it whenever we can.  

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Heartbreak From Home


It has been a long time since I have blogged as it has been nearly a year since I was last in Haiti.  Even when I am in Kentucky (or Australia), I hear stories from Haiti that absolutely break my heart.  However, today is different.  Today.. not only was my heartbroken, but my family was deeply impacted. 

Four years ago, my dad and I journeyed on our first Haiti mission trip.  The very first day we were there, my dad made a “friend.”  Throughout the two weeks we were there, this friend followed my dad everywhere.  He never let go of my dad’s hand, and they formed a very special bond.  This friend was Kenzie. 

The next year my dad and I returned to Haiti.  Even though he had no idea we were coming, Kenzie was right there waiting for us.  As soon as my dad stepped off the bus, Kenzie grabbed his hand.  I watched their bond grow even stronger.  Last summer, I had the opportunity to spend three months in Haiti.  I saw Kenzie nearly everyday, and I grew to love him as my own brother.  When my mom came to Haiti in July, she too fell in love with Kenzie.  He impacted her life just as he impacted both mine and my father’s.  We all had made a special bond with this special boy. 

While my mom was there, Kenzie took us to his house because he wanted us to meet his mother.  Kenzie’s father had passed away four years prior, about the time my dad and I made our first trip.  Kenzie’s mother was a beautiful woman, but immediately after arriving to their house, we knew something was not right.  Kenzie’s mom talked funny.  She then showed us the tumor that was growing in her throat.  She had been to an American surgeon, but they said nothing could be done.  The tumor was continuing to grow, and we knew eventually it would cut off her air supply, or she would starve when she could no longer eat. 

Throughout the last year, my family has talked to Kenzie nearly every day.  He quickly became the piece we always felt we were missing.  We went through a lot from Kenzie being in the hospital to his mother being in the hospital.  God has taken care of us all.  We have all grown closer and become a family. 

I knew the day would come eventually, but I cannot describe my shock when Kenzie messaged me this morning saying his mom died today.  My heart is broken.  This boy who means so much to me and my family has gone through enough already.  Not only did he have to watch his father die, but now he has also watched his mother die.  It’s not fair.  Kenzie’s life has been completely turned upside down.  Today he was told he can no longer live in the house he and his mother were living in.  Kenzie is now not only an orphan, but a homeless orphan. 

Just writing that makes me cry because I don’t understand.  I don’t understand God’s plan in this, or why He has put Kenzie through so much.  I do know, however, that His timing is perfect (as always).  In 17 days, my father, Mark, and I will be traveling with a small group to Haiti.  While we are doing everything we can for Kenzie right now, being there will open so many more doors. 

I ask for your prayers for Kenzie.  Pray for peace, comfort, and safety for him.  I also ask that you pray for my family.  There is a lot that needs to be done as we are seeking God’s will for Kenzie’s life with us.  In a perfect world, he would come live with us.  However, we do not live in a perfect world, and things are not that easy.  Pray for guidance and patience as we have a long road ahead of us until our family is complete.