My Three Homes

“You will never be completely at home again because part of your heart always will be elsewhere.  That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

A few years ago I never would have guessed that this quote would so accurately describe my life.  I certainly would not have guessed that I would have three homes!  Kentucky will always be my home.  I love Kentucky, and I love being surrounded by my friends and family.  However, Haiti has also become my home.  Everyday it becomes more like home to me as I continue learning the language and culture and growing in my relationships with my friends there.  Three years ago I gained another home: Australia!  The truth is, my home is wherever Liam is, but right now that happens to be Australia.  (I do love his family as well!)  While I love having three different homes, it is hard that they are never all together.  I am always missing something. 

The beginning of July I got as close as I could to being completely home.  My three worlds collided in an absolutely beautiful way.  My church (a big part of my Kentucky family), my mom, Chris, and Liam all got off a tap-tap at my Haiti home.  While my heart was overjoyed to see them, my body was not feeling so good.  I had been up sick most of the night prior.  This sickness (which ended up being typhoid and pneumonia) got worse throughout their trip, which made things so difficult for me.  I had spent so long helping them plan their trip, but I could not participate in most of what they did. 

The Daybreak Team

Though I was sidelined for the majority of their week, it did not stop me from seeing the relationships they built and the wonderful work they accomplished.  The focus of their time in Haiti was the boys in the orphanage.  They had many activities planned with them including a two-day boot camp run by an army colonel, a beach trip, hiking, devotions, and medical exams on all of the boys.  It was so funny watching the boys doing push ups and tying knots.  Mingua Beef Jerky donated jerky for the boot camp.  One of my favorite moments came when the boys were eating it.  One of them said, "Tore, I don't know what this stuff is, but it is too good!!!" All of them thoroughly enjoyed the jerky!  While the boys loved the boot camp, it also gave them an opportunity to see what appropriate male role models look like.  The men in the group led them, taught them, and loved them.  In a country with a lack of male Christian leaders, it was an amazing sight to see.  Here are some of my favorite pictures.

Liam and his boot camp team

Learning the perfect push up

Their home

The hardest part of their trip for me was when we went to La Baie.  The group bought bags of groceries and Creole Bibles to do a grocery ministry in the community.  We split in two groups and let God lead them to homes who needed to hear His message.  At each home we were able to share some scripture with the families, pray for them, and give them a bag of groceries and a Bible.  This has always been one of my favorite things to do.  My group went to some homes that we have been visiting for the last several years.  In 2013, God led us to a house with a very sick mother.  We prayed desperately for her healing, but God had other plans and she died a few months later.  We visited this family every year after and tried to help the father and his children deal with their grief.  In March, I unexpectedly found myself at this man's house again.  I had been hiking with a group and they stopped at his house.  They shared their faith with him.  Afterwards I stayed back to talk to him for a little.  He shared how much of an impact the Blue Grass team made in his life by returning to his house year after year and how he felt our prayers.  I was excited to bring the team back to see him this summer.  However, he was not there when we got to his home.  His daughter informed us he passed away very unexpectedly not long after my visit.  While my heart is sad over this loss of a friend, I am thankful that I was able to share with him one last time.  I pray he took the words to heart and that we will meet again one day.  I also pray we were able to bring a little comfort to his children who now have now lost both of their parents. 

 

While some parts of their trip were hard, so many parts were full of so much joy.  My favorite part of the whole trip was the awards ceremony that they hosted for the boys at the end of the week.  We had a VBS, juice and cake, and then a devotion.  Each boy was recognized for participating in boot camp.  They were called up one by one where they got a certificate, a new outfit, AND a brand new pair of tennis shoes. (a HUGE thank you to everyone who donated money or bought shoes for them!)  The boys were so incredibly excited to be individually recognized and get their surprises.  We closed out the night with singing and dancing.  It was such a beautiful night.  Everyone went to bed with full hearts.  

 

After nine packed days the group went home, but Liam stayed for another week.  Even though I was still sick, it was so much fun to explore Haiti with Liam and watch him fall in love with the people I love.  He spent a lot of time with the boys and tried to teach them to say “g’day mate.”  It was quite the sight to see.  We spent quite a bit of time with Wadley and Benji.  It did not take Liam long to see how they had captured my heart.  Liam was able to spend some time in the aquaponics system to see what his future could look like in Haiti.  We also took a quick trip to the Mole so he could see our other campus as well as meet Jody, Jose, and Susan.  His time in Haiti was busy and full of many adventures, but I think he went home ready to come back again. 

When Liam left Haiti, I made the difficult decision to come back with him.  I had not intended to come back to the States until November, but I needed some time to rest, recover, and gain some weight back.  While I am missing my Haitian family so much, I know I needed this time in my Kentucky home.  I am thankful for the support and prayers that I received both in Haiti and since I have returned.  During my last week in Haiti, the boys held prayer services for me three times a day.  They would pray healing over me, sing worship, and share scripture.  I am so thankful that these boys are being raised to fear God in a way that they can offer their lives in true dependence on Him.  What a beautiful sight. 

My plan is to return to Haiti in the next couple of weeks.  I ask for your prayers as I continue to recover and prepare for my journey back.  I cannot wait to hug these boys again! 

The Roller Coaster of Haiti Life

I often describe life in Haiti as a roller coaster.  You can experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in the same day.  These last three weeks have been a roller coaster.  One day I watched a child die in the surgery wing.  The same week, the surgeons performed three c-sections and brought three lives into this world in the very same surgery wing.  At the same time that we were celebrating at nutrition program preschool graduation, there was also a funeral for a 9 year old boy.  While we were so excited about so many lives being changed with the surgery team, a good friend tested positive for HIV.  Life here is a roller coaster.

As I sat there watching Job (a boy from the Miriam Center) die, I selfishly prayed that he would be healed.   Then as time went on, I prayed that God would take him quickly because it was painful to watch.  I struggled with why God was not answering either of those prayers.  I was reminded of a lesson that God has been working on in my life.  True faith is not praying and expecting God to do something because you prayed.  True faith is believing that God can do all things and trusting Him to do what is best even if it is painful for us. 

While my heart is still aching over all the hard things that have happened, I do not want to focus on them.  I want to praise God during this storm because so many amazing things have also happened.  These last two weeks we have had a surgery team on campus.  They completed 166 surgeries!  What a victory.  166 people had their lives changed.  This was one of my favorite moments from the two weeks.  Our Haitian doctor’s father had surgery.  One of the nurses spoke English and Spanish.  Dr. Tchoumany speaks Spanish, and his father speaks English.  She went through some of the pre-op instructions speaking both Spanish and English, neither of which are their native languages, but everyone completely understood!

St. Verty

 Pastor St. Verty always amazes me during surgery weeks.  This time he impressed me more than ever though.  The air conditioner broke in the pre-op room, so it got HOT.  St. Verty would stay in there all day so that he could pray with all of the patients before they went back for surgery.  I switched places for him a couple times so he could go on some house visits and do a funeral.  I was never there for more than a couple hours at a time, and I was exhausted by the end of it.  I do not know how he did it all day everyday, but I am so thankful that he did.  You could see the look of relief on a lot of the patients faces after he prayed for them.  

Another big event was the nutrition program preschool graduation! 27 happy and healthy children graduated!  Graduation is a huge event in Haiti, and all of the kids looked so precious!  Every child also has a Marenn (godmother) and Parenn (godfather) who attends the graduation.  I was asked to be Louvens godmother for the event.  It was so fun to pick out a little gift for him and celebrate him.  

 

Me and Louvens

 I have spent the last several months getting to know and love on the nutrition program children and their mothers.  I absolutely loved watching how proud the mothers were of their children.  Here are some of my favorite photos!

I don’t understand why these last three weeks have been such a roller coaster.  I don’t understand why the bad stuff has happened.  I don't understand why some kids die and some kids live.  However, my job is not to understand.  My job is to trust that God knows what He’s doing and to hold out hope for day Revelations 21:4 describes.  “He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Saint Louis Update

Some exciting things have been happening in Saint Louis these last couple of weeks.  The day after my trip to Mirebalais was a Sunday.  To be honest, I woke up and did not want to go to church.  I had spent over 24 of the last 72 hours on a bus, van, truck, or motorcycle.  The thought of sitting on the hard benches for 3+ hours sounded miserable to me.  However, God told me to go, so I did.  I am so glad that I listened!  One of my friends came to church for the first time!  Her son is part of our nutrition program and preschool, and her daughter goes to outreach therapy after having a clubfoot surgery in October.  

This event was very exciting, but what is more exciting is that she was baptized last Saturday!  She, two other nutrition program parents, three boys from the orphanage, and three other members from the church were all baptized.  I had the honor of being the Marenn (like the godmother) to four of the baptisms.  I am so excited for all of these people who made this next step in their faith.  I am thankful that they had truth spoken into them and the opportunity to accept Christ.  I pray that they will be examples and lights in the nutrition program, orphanage, and community.  Here are some photos from the baptisms. 

 

The nutrition program parents

The boys from the orphanage

Since I’ve been back, I have been working a lot with one of the families in the nutrition program. I started working with them because their two year old son, Benji, was 9 pounds.  Benji had been born early and has always struggled with sickness.  They also have another little boy, Alandieu.  He was born less than a year after Benji.  As you can imagine they were very overwhelmed.  In the last two months, we have gotten rid of Benji’s tapeworm, and he is finally starting to gain weight.  In the beginning, Benji spent most of his time lying around almost lifelessly without expressing any emotion.  Today we have a completely different story.  Benji loves to babble, dance, and give everyone fist bumps.  

While there was an obvious need for physical help, this family also needed spiritual help.  Benji’s dad was one of the people who accepted Christ at conference, and he was baptized on Saturday.  Last week I was sitting in the nutrition program, and Benji’s mom came up to me.  She has just started selling popsicles to try to save a little money for her family.  Selling popsicles is no joke.  She carries a very heavy cooler on the top of her head and stands in the sun selling other people something cold.  She wanted to show me what she bought with her hard-earned money.  She bought a new skirt so that she could go to church on Sunday.  She is SEVENTEEN years old and the first thing she bought was a skirt for church.  I cannot even explain my feelings of joy and inspiration to see her sitting in church on Sunday.      

Benji's mom and little brother after church

I am so thankful for these exciting things happening in Saint Louis.  Please pray with me for these new Christians and church attenders.  Pray that they would not lose their faith.  Pray that they would be an example for others.

My Trip to Paul Farmer's Hospital

I am a huge Paul Farmer fan.  I have been ever since I read Mountains Beyond Mountains my freshman year of college.  I have always wanted to visit where he worked in Haiti, and last week I had a chance to!  A cardiology team was coming to Paul Farmer’s new teaching hospital, and Stephanie had two kids who needed to see them.  Since everyone knows how much I love Paul Farmer, Stephanie knew she would not have to convince me to be her other person on the trip. 

It was a long trip.  The hospital is in Mirebalais, which is about an hour outside of Port-au-Prince.  We left here on the midnight bus to go to Port-au-Prince.  We then took a bus to Mirebalais.  All in all it took about 12 hours for us to get there.  We dropped our stuff off at the hotel, and Stephanie and I went to visit the hospital. 

Me outside of the hospital

We had a friend who was able to give us a tour of the hospital, and I was absolutely blown away.  The hospital was so big and beautiful.  Everything was very well laid out and surprisingly clean.  There were fans everywhere, and they even had these UV lights all over that are supposed to kill germs in the air.  The hospital included a men’s ward, women’s ward, children’s ward, maternity, a surgery center, ICU, neonatal ward, and so much more.  They also have a therapy center, lab, ct machine, x-ray, and more! It raised my standards on what the quality of hospitals can be here (with the right funding that is).  Here are some photos of the inside of the hospital.

The children's ward

Playroom for the kids

One of the consultation rooms

The hospital gave me conflicting thoughts on its sustainability.  The entire hospital is run by solar panels, and all the money was raised BEFORE they built the hospital.  However, when a patient comes to the hospital, all they pay is the equivalent of $1 US.  That means that they could get a ct scan, surgery, stay in the hospital, and get rehab all for $1 US.  While that is absolutely wonderful for the Haitians who cannot typically afford quality healthcare, it would not cover hardly any of the expenses of the hospital. 

As much as I loved being able to visit the hospital and see some of Paul Farmer’s work, it was also hard.  We often deliver babies by cellphone light in our birthing center.  If a baby stops breathing and needs to be put on oxygen, we have to think about if we can turn the generator on.  Premature babies who need to be in an incubator have pretty much no chance here.  Yet this hospital had an entire neonatal ward!! I would by lying if I said I was not jealous of some of the capabilities that they had. 

As we were walking to the hospital, Stephanie and I were talking about how different the town was than Saint Louis.  No one yelled out “hey blanc” (hey white person).  No one seemed shocked to see us.  We talked about how it was kind of nice.  However, by the time we walked back to the hotel, we were missing the atmosphere of Saint Louis.  In Mirebalais, people may not have been phased that we were white, but they also did not care that we were there at all.  We had to ask the security guard a question, and he completely turned around trying to avoid us.  We may hear “hey blanc” a lot in Saint Louis, but everyone says hi and everyone is willing to help.  This all may sound silly, but I was thankful for a reminder of how much I love life in Saint Louis.

The next day we took the two kids for their check up.  One problem that is often in Haiti is that if you go to a medical facility with a white person you typically get pushed through faster/a better quality of care.  We were pleasantly surprised to be put at the end of the line to see the cardiologist.  We were even more surprised to get two good reports from the doctor!  

It was a quick trip, but I am so thankful for the opportunity.  I am thankful to fulfill a dream of mine.  I am thankful to have been able to see how another hospital runs.  I am thankful for two clean bills of health for the kids.  And now, I am even more thankful to be home where everyone says hi and asks how I am! 

Spiritual Warfare in Haiti

Spiritual Warfare is real everywhere.  It is just as real in America as it is in Haiti.  However, I feel like there is one major difference.  In America, spiritual warfare is often disguised in music or movies.  In Haiti, spiritual warfare is not always so disguised.  It is the actual battle between the power of God and the power of voodoo. 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12

Voodoo in Haiti is real, and it is powerful.  A bible study I am currently doing explained, “the original word Paul used for struggle is ‘palē’ which means a fight or contest among opponents waged in close, hand-to-hand combat with the goal of pinning down and defeating one’s rival.”  This battle is real here.  A couple weeks ago we visited with a pastor who said the lady next door to the church was a voodoo priestess.  They were having a war.  While he was having church services, she was having voodoo ceremonies.  The battle is raging there. 

Another example of this battle was this past week.  For Christians, this week was a week leading up to Resurrection Sunday.  A week spent remembering the sacrifice that Jesus made for us ending in a celebration of his resurrection.  However, for voodoo this week is always rara.  Rara is a voodoo celebration where different bands march around playing music and drinking, often armed with guns or machetes.  My friends have told me I do not even want to know some of things that go on during these celebrations.  When one band meets another band, they often fight and many people (even innocent bystanders) are hurt.  They also will destroy people’s gardens and property simply because they can.  We were not allowed to leave campus for the week because it was not safe.  Many of my Haitian friends have told me that they celebrate rara during the week before Easter because they are celebrating Jesus’ death.  Their biggest celebration is always on Good Friday, the day we remember our Lord Jesus as dying on the cross.  They related these rioting bands to the riots that were held against Jesus surrounding his death. 

A book I am reading explains, “Voodoo is not just part of Haiti’s heritage.  It is not just for the uneducated, a way of explaining what seems unexplainable.  It is not just about cultural expressions of music and dance.”  Voodoo is real, and it is powerful.

This past week was also women's conference at our church.  Conference is a week of worship and evangelism.  Every night the church was overflowing with people.  We sang; we danced; we listened to sermons.  While we were doing this and fighting to win souls for Christ, the rara bands were encouraging people to join them.  The battle was real.  I wrote in my journal how this week the air felt charged.  The spiritual warfare was so prevalent.  On one night of conference, a rara band actually went right past the church.  Shortly after they passed, we sang a song with lyrics that said "satan you lose!"  There are no words to describe the feelings during those moments.  To hear and see the voodoo band walk by and feel the evil that occupied them and then to sing that song was extremely powerful. 

Throughout the week, over 20 people accepted Christ at conference.  Several parents of children in the nutrition program were among those 20.  I have been working a lot with one boy in the program named Benji.  His dad accepted Christ during conference!  

Benji and his dad

While I am so thankful for the 20 souls who were saved, victory is not always the result.  While the church was winning souls over for Christ, there were people choosing the other side as well.  Sometimes it is simply too late.  Two days ago Benji's dad came and asked if I would go pray with his cousin who was sick.  When we were hiking up the mountain, I was so inspired by this new Christian walking with his Bible in his hand to share the gospel with his family.  I would love to tell you that we were able to persuade him to accept Christ.  Even better, I would love to tell you that he accepted Christ and was healed.  However, that is not always what happens.  For us, it was too late.  By the time we got to the house, the man had died.  Please join me in praying for this family.  Pray for this new Christian, that his faith may not be wavered in this situation.  Pray that he still has the courage to share the gospel with the rest of his family, before it is too late for them too. 

These past two weeks have been hard, and they have been trying.  There have been moments when I have rejoiced, like when my friends accepted Christ.  However, there have also been moments I have mourned.  The battle is real, and we will keep fighting it.  I am so thankful to know that victory was found on that cross nearly 2000 years ago.   

Settling Back In

I have now been back home in Haiti for over two weeks.  At some moments these two weeks have felt like only two days and at other moments they have felt like two years.  My time back has been spent reconnecting with all of my friends, setting up my house, and getting settled back into the Haiti routine.  Here is a before and after photo of my house!

Before

After

I would be lying if I said I didn’t love life in Haiti.  I absolutely love the chaos of it.  I absolutely love the people.  I absolutely love the cultural differences.  Yesterday I was reminded of all of this.  There were many moments of pure chaos as Haiti decided to not do the time change, but many phones automatically changed.  I think the most common question of yesterday was “what time is it?”  As I spent time in the afternoon running around laughing and playing tag with the boys, I was reminded how much I love the people here.  I was reminded of my love of the cultural differences when everyone started dancing at church.  While I am used to people feeling self-conscious about raising their arms, there were people in church doing the “whip and nae nae.”  How can you do anything other than smile when you see that?

Some of the boys after church

These last two weeks have been filled with so many good moments.  I have had so much fun celebrating my engagement with all of my friends and family here.  They are so excited to meet Liam.  I have loved spending every morning in the nutrition program being showered with hugs and kisses from the sweet kids there.  Every time I walk past them, I am bombarded with “TOREEEE!!”  I had to laugh a couple days ago.  One of the kids in the preschool yelled out “TO-LE” for my name.  One of the other kids was quick to put him in his place and tell him that he needed to pronounce my name with an R not a L. 

Love the nutrition program kids!

I also had the opportunity to teach an English class at the local trade school.  Roderick, the teacher, asked me to teach about Easter.  Each student was given an English Bible to follow along with as I read the Easter story.  We were able to discuss some words from the story that they did not understand.  They then started asking all sorts of questions about the bible and Jesus’s story.  I am so thankful for this trade school not only pouring into their educational needs, but also their spiritual needs. 

The trade school class

While these last couple of weeks have been filled with so many good moments, there have also been the moments that are not as easy.  These weeks have not let me forget the reality of Haiti.  As much as I love being able to hold and love on the boys, it is equally as hard to hold a sick ten pound two year old.  As much as I have loved following up on some of the surgery patients, it is equally as hard to see the patients that it is too late to help.  As much as I love church here, it is equally has hard to hear the voodoo drums every night. 

The hardest moment for me came after a long hard day last week.  I was sitting upstairs when one of the boys asked me to come to the birthing center (also used as the urgent treatment room).  As I walked in, I immediately saw Jozye, one of the boys from la baie, lying there and the doctor trying to find a pulse.  I immediately bent down at the foot of the bed and started praying.  There is still a little confusion about the story, but it appears that he had fallen, hit his head, and had a seizure.  The doctor told us his pulse was okay and we just needed to wait.  Those moments of not knowing what had happened and waiting for the doctor to say she had found a pulse were horrifying.  Jozye has a younger brother in the orphanage, Chinaider.  After the doctor said that we just needed to wait, I went to look for him.  He was in the back sobbing because he thought his brother had died.  These boys have already gone through so much in life.  I pray that in those moments I was able to be a little sense of comfort for Chinaider as we sat together and prayed.  I had the doctor explain to him his brother was going to be okay, and I just held him.  I am so thankful that God is faithful, and He heard our prayers that night.  Jozye is doing so much better, and sang at church on Sunday to praise God for protecting him.  What an example of how to give God the glory.  

Jozye and Chinaider

Thank you for all of your prayers as I have been settling in.  I have felt your prayers of protection and peace.  I could not be here without them. 

A Birthday to Remember

Though Haiti is often full of hard work and heartbreaking stories, sometimes we have a lot of fun too.  Today I wanted to write a quick blog on a fun event that occurred this week.

Most of you have read about my special boy Wadley.  Wadley has had anything but an easy life, especially for only being 12 years old.  In a short recount, Wadley lost his family in a truck accident, lived with an abusive aunt, and was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy last year.  As we get closer and closer, I cherish the times that he opens up to me about his past, even though it also breaks my heart.  A few months ago I asked Wadley about his birthday.  He said that he did not know when it was because no one ever told him his birthday.  At the end of every year, he would just say he was a year older.  Well, this did not work for me.   Everyone deserves a birthday, and everyone deserves a big party!

Last Friday turned out to be a pretty good day for Wadley.  It started off with no school.  He spent the morning playing with his friends (while I secretly worked on party decorations).  Every Friday afternoon he and I go to outreach therapy together.  After therapy, I sent him to play with his friends, and then the real work started.  Autumn, the occupational therapist, Carlos, the physical therapist, and myself started decorating one of the rooms.  Wadley’s favorite colors are blue and yellow, so all the decorations were blue and yellow! (Thanks mom for sending those in!)

Next, all of the children who live in the Miriam Center (the special needs home) came in to get ready.  They were so excited.  We passed out hats for everyone to get them in the spirit.  Then it was time to bring Wadley in.  I went to tell him we needed him for something, and he walked into his first surprise birthday party!

It took him a little bit to figure out what was going on, but once he did, he was the life of the party.  There was cake, a photo booth, and lots of dancing.  Everyone had so much fun! Mom had sent down sunglasses for everyone, and they were a huge hit.  I have enjoyed watching these sunglasses make their rounds through the campus the last couple of days.  The other night a security guard was wearing a pair, and I saw a couple pairs at church yesterday!

I had to laugh preparing for the party about how you make do with what you have in Haiti.  I wrapped Wadley’s presents in Christmas wrapping paper and pink duct tape, but it worked!

While Wadley has many friends in the Miriam Center, he also has many friends in the boy’s orphanage.  I wanted to be able to include them too, so Wadley made a list of some of his best friends.  These friends were all invited to a movie night complete with juice, snacks, and a goodie bag!  They all showed up all dressed up and excited. 

All in all, I am so thankful to have been able to give Wadley a day for himself.  I explained to him after it was all over how now he can say that October 30^th is his birthday.  Though I cannot change his past, I can do my best to make his present life all that it can be.  It is an amazing thought that even our best birthday parties in this life are a mere glimpse into the parties we will have in Heaven.  I hope and pray that everyone reading this will be in attendance of Wadley’s heavenly birthdays, when those days come.  I know I am looking forward to them.